A Whole New World [er, Attitude] (4)

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Blogs to be read before this one:

Welcome

Too Much, Too Soon (1)

Too Much Icing, Too Little Cake (2)

DEFECT! (3)
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As I noted in the previous blogs, it's time for a new attitude toward relationships. Maybe you're thinking it's impossible. You're either roped down in a worldly relationship and don't know how to change or you either just don't want to change. Whatever the attitude is, there's hope for change.

Ephesians 4:22-24
"Throw off your old evil nature and your former way of life, which is rotten through and through, full of lust and deception. Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes. You must display a new nature because you are a new person, created in God's likeness - righteous, holy, and true."

Not only is there hope for change, there is a command for change!

Josh Harris makes 5 "attitude changes" to help us on our road to purity, true love, and the gift of singleness.


1. Every relationship is an opportunity to model Christ's love.

From a girl's perspective, friendships with guys are opportunitites to love them as Christ does. We're not to treat them as potential boyfriends, but as brothers in Christ. (And the same is true for boys.) Our love for our "brothers" and "sisters" should be sincere, servant-hearted, and selfless, just as Christ's is for us.

2. My unmarried years are a gift from God.

A gift? Yup, that's right. A gift. A sinful, selfish pattern of dating robs us of the flexibility, freedom, and focus of singleness. Please, learn to be content with friendship during the time God wants you to be single. Pursue more effective ministry and deeper friendships with people of both genders! Josh says, "As a single you have the freedom right now to explore, study, and tackle the Word. No other time in your life will offer these chances [with that much freedom]."

3. I don't need to pursue a romantic relationship before I'm ready for marriage.

"If too people can't make a commitment to each other, they don't have any business pursuing romance," says Josh. If you're too young or too immature, you especially can't make a commitment of marriage just yet. Harris goes on to say, "God has made each of us with a desire for intimacy, and He intentds to fulfill it. While we're single He doesn't expect these longings to disappear, but I believe He asks us to have the patience to wait and, in the meantime, seek close relationships with family and deep, non romantic relationships with brothers and sisters in the Lord."

4. I cannot "own" someone outside of marriage.

Put simply, until we're ready to commit our lives in marriage, we have no right to treat anyone as if he or she belongs to us. It's not okay to claim another person's time, affection, and future before marriage. Again, too much energy is put on that one person when it should be used for serving the body of Christ and preparing for the future.

5. I will avoid situations that could compromise the purity of my body or mind.

Harris says, "Purity consists of more than just remaining a virgin." If you've learned one thing so far, I hope it's that. He goes on to say, "Where, when, and with whom you choose to spend your time reveals your true commitment to purity...Avoid placing yourself in settings that encourage temptation." Josh tells a story of a girl who commited saving sex for marriage, but often placed herself in compromising situations with her boyfriend - homework at her house when her mom's gone, hiking alone, ending their dates in his parked car. Beware! Even the most seemingly-sublte of situations can be opportunities for tempation and lust to flourish.



Unnecessary Baggage

"The God-fashioned life leaves no room for pettiness, insincerity, wasted time, or selfishness... no room for the seven habits of high defective dating." [See post, 'DEFECT! (3)'] "A Christian with his or her eyes on the goal of sincere and intelligent love will find that throwing out the world's approach to dating is no sacrifice."

And I've mentioned it a lot, but I'll say it again (putting as much emphasis on it as Joshua Harris does). Just because you kiss dating goodbye doesn't mean you kiss friendships with the opposite sex goodbye. It doesn't mean get rid of companionship, romance, or marriage... It means to pursue them when God intends for you to.

"Leaving dating behind is a by-product of God's primary desire for us to consume ourselves with Him wholeheartedly," said Josh.


Give God your all, and He'll give you His best. Hand it all over to Him!