The Right Thing At The Wrong Time Is The Wrong Thing (6)

Blogs to be read first: Welcome, Too Much, Too Soon (1), Too Much Icing, Too Little Cake (2), DEFECT! (3), A Whole New World [er, Attitude] (4), and Looking Up "Love" In God's Dictionary (5)

I want to start this section off with a quote by William J. Bennett, the man who arranged the ever-so-popular, Book Of Virtues, which includes the story of impatience called "The Magic Thread." Take a minute to read the story if you have time.

Here's what Mr. Bennett says to introduce the story:

"Too often, people want what they want (or what they think they want, which is usually 'happiness' in one form or another) right now. The irony of their impatience is that only by learning to wait, and by a willingness to accept the bad with the good, do we usually attain those things that are truly worthwhile."

Keep that in mind.

"When we pursue romance is a major factor in determining whether or not dating is appropriate for us," says Josh Harris. We must trust God's purpose for singleness and trust His timing for relationships.

In this chapter of I Kissed Dating Goodbye Josh gives us 3 simple truths that can help correct wrong attitudes about the timing of relationships.


1. The Right Thing At The Wrong Time Is The Wrong Thing.

Our society works like this: we microwave our food, e-mail our letters, and express mail our packages. If something is good, we seek to enjoy it immediately. Not to say that enjoying something good immediately is wrong, but the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing. You'll see where I'm going with this.

In Ecclesisates 3:1-8 the Biblical principle of "seasons" is presented. Josh Harris argues, and I must agree, that we, in our sped-up society, have lost this principle of seasons. Each season of our lives has a different emphasis, focus, and beauty, and each season yields its own unique treasures. Each season builds on the one before it. For many of us, the season we're meant to be in right now is singleness, but we often make the mistake of taking a good thing (a prime example being premarital sex) out of its appropriate season to enjoy it when we want it. This rushed lifestyle can spoil the beauty of God's plan for our lives.


2. You Don't Need To Shop For What You Can't Afford.

Remember the Little Relationship Principle: The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment. Harris goes on to say, "Intimacy costs commitment [just as a soda costs one dollar]. If I'm not in a position to pay in the cold, hard cash of commitment, I have no business going shopping for my future mate."

If you spend all your time and energy trying to hunt down your future spouse or (if you think you've already found him or her) trying to contain him or her until you can marry, you might actually do that person a disservice.

Harris says, "The guy of girl you will one day marry doesn't need a boyfriend or girlfriend...What that person really needs is someone mature enough to spend the season before marriage preparing to be a godly wife or husband. Let's do our future spouses a favor and stop shopping around prematurely."


3. Any Season Of Singleness Is A Gift From God.

1 Corinthians 7:32 (The Message):

"I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you're unmarried, you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nuturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming holy instruments of God."

Singleness, in the eyes of God, is a a gift, and uparalleled opportunity for undistracted devotion to God.

"Don't do something about your singlehood - do something with it!"

Dating robs us of the gift of singleness. "You might just do God a disservice by wasting its potential on a liftestyle of short-term dating," says Harris.


Trust, Trust, Trust that God Knows Best!

Joshua Harris says, "Waiting for God's timing requires trusting in His goodness and wisdom. We develop patience as we trust that God denies us what we think is good only because He has something better for us - both now and in the future."

Contentment is key. 1 Timothy 6:6 says, "godliness with contetment is great gain." Contentment is not a destination, it is a state of mind. If you believe that on the day you will get married, you'll become content, you're probably wrong. If you're discontent in your singleness, you'll probably be discontent in your marriage. Don't miss the gift of the moment.

John Fischer said, "I have a feeling that a single person who is always wishing he were married will probably get married, discover all that is involved, and wish he were single again."

Be like Paul: learn to be content whatever the circumstaces (Philippians 4:11), for we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength (Philippians 4:13).

"Sometime" by May Riley Smith

Sometime, when all life’s lessons have been learned,
And sun and stars forevermore have set,
The things which our weak judgements here have spurned,
The things so’er which we grieved with lashes wet,
Will flash before us out of life’s dark night,
As stars shine most in deeper tints of blue;
And we shall see how all God’s plans are right,
And how what seemed reproof was love most true.

Then be content, poor heart;
God’s plans, like lilies pure and white, unfold;
We must not tear the close-shut leaves apart,—
Time will reveal the chalices of gold.
And if, through patient toil, we reach the land
Where tired feet, with sandals loosed, may rest,
When we shall clearly see and understand,
I think we will say, "God knew the best.”


"When God knows you're ready for the responsibility of commitment, He'll reveal the right person under the right circumstances...Let's live our todays for His kingdom and entrust our tomorrows to His providence," concludes Harris.